I am not here to comment on twitter, TOS, freedom of speech, the “sexiness” of ShakeWellBeforeUse or if Ariel is a c—. If I said she wasn’t, you wouldn’t believe me anyway.

I CAN attest to one thing. It IS a fact Ariel’s stalker has been after her for over 3 years beginning in her home town—before she had a high profile on the web. I have seen the physical evidence and know it to be threatening. Ariel did nothing to initiate this situation, the person in question is mentally unbalanced and deeply insecure. The person found out where she lived and made it known to her. Ariel has done everything within her power (talking to the person and friends of the person, police, legal advice, adjustment of lifestyle) to defuse the situation all to no avail. I had thought when she moved to the city, these attacks would end, but they have not. There is more than mere name calling going on. There is a history of vindictive harrassment. Whatever else you think about how she is handling it is your opinion, but she did NOT make this up.

Since I have known Ariel all her life I can tell you one thing. She plays by the rules. She does not manipulate people or situations for her own gain. And she is too smart to screw up her own reputation as a consultant in social media to try and play competing services against each other. All speculation on that account is ridiculous.

And Mom to Ariel: you could have told me you were going to blog this rather than let me randomly find out about it on my own.

I think it’s become quite common for people to toss around terms like “harassment” and so on. I’ve seen people claim they are being stalked and then when you ask them what that means they say “oh, they leave comments on my photos” or something to that effect.

I think there is a huge difference.

As unpleasant as it is sometimes, people are going to express opinions about you that might hurt you. They might call you names, or talk about your appearance, or whatever. Those comments might have no basis in fact at all, but still, it happens.

The internet is a breeding ground for this because people don’t have to reveal who they are. So they hide behind that and call you names. It’s cowardly and immature and can be hurtful and painful, but is is harassment? I’m not sure. If you turn off your computer, does this problem cease? If you stop posting on twitter, does it follow you?

I was bashed by a mob of anonymous people for weeks a few months ago. They posted on my blog, called me names, sent me e-mails, and posted misinformation on their blogs about me. It was hard to take sometimes. I allowed all the comments to stay on my blog because in the end I truly believed that those comments would speak far louder about the character of the posters than anything I could ever say. Many people actually spoke out for me because of this.

I also think it’s important that people take responsibility for what they put out there. If you put online things that are controversial, people are going to have strong opinions about it, both good and bad. Do you really want to control that?

I’m not against you, Ariel, but I’m not sure I think Twitter has handled it poorly. It might be really hurtful and annoying that someone is calling you names, but is it bona fide harassment? I’m not sure. If they ban that account for name calling, where does it stop? I’m not sure I want that kind of twitter.

Now, again, I’m not Twitter’s CEO. But if I were, or I were their community manager, I would have taken decisive action. That’s what feels like it’s missing here. Action. Their in analysis paralysis. So what if you’re a small company? I’m a one-person show. If I’m running the service, and you get a complaint filed against you, you will get a stern warning and referral to my TOS. If the user so much as looked the wrong way at anyone, especially the person who reported to offense, off to the bit bucket it would go. And, might I add, I would have taken screenshots/DB dumps, etc. for forensic analysis off-line or to back up my actions and decisions if I ever felt the need or want, or subpeona, to defend them.

My wife and I, and many other friends, have been moderators in practice or in fact in many other communities that could be construed as “communication utilities”. I just truly feel that Twitter has dropped the ball here. And evidentally did it mid-last year, no less. To a valued user. Or what should be a valued user. Now, I will not stop using Twitter. They do that for me involuntarily all the time. I will not comment on that but to say that if it were my service, it would not have this issue as I would have found ways to fix it by now (being at least a year on from the SXSW blow-up).

There are no easy answers. Saying that you will not get involved, or saying this is not straightforward is a cop-out. Plain and simple. You are a human being, not a communication service. Business don’t run businesses, people do. Communication services are only as good as the value they add. At the end of the day, you have to do what is right to you, not what you think is the safe course, or the legal course, or whatever excuse you’re going to hide behind. Be men, and human, and do the right thing.